My ADHD journey has been a bumpy one. Especially in the past several years. I have always been a little messy, always busy, unable to sit still for a long period of time, and someone who needs to make a list or two. But this has intensified over the last few years. The pandemic didn’t help make it any easier either.
Monday was the day I finally got to meet with a doctor who is going to help me get control of my brain back!
What is ADHD
When I hear of ADHD, I immediately think of a child in school who can’t sit still, scooches around in their seat and is a disruption to the other kids in class. Several things are wrong with this generalized assumption. It’s not just in kids, they aren’t always a disruption to others, and sometimes they can sit still.
There’s also adult onset ADHD; but many times the hyperactive element isn’t there. I don’t necessarily have that issue; but I do have ADD. Like I said earlier, I’ve always had some element of it where I will start things and not complete them 100%. For me that usually involved crafting projects, reading books, laundry, the dishes, my closet redesign… so many things.
One of the questions I asked the doctor was if my brain will ever relax? The answer was hopeful. He said that medication can help to eliminate some of the anxiety that is going on, which will take me out of fight or flight mode so then I can eventually have more clarity.
How ADHD Affects Me
Have you ever walked into a room and forgot why you walked in there in the first place? My short term memory has been affected the most with my ADD. If I don’t write something down that is important, I will lose the thought and sometimes not get it back. In meetings, I need to take good notes so I can remember what was discussed.
If I am at the grocery store and you call me to tell me to pick something up, I will ask you to text it to me because as soon as we hang up the phone, I’ll see something else and the distraction will cause me to forget why I was at the store in the first place.
I wish I had the ability to sit in a chair on the deck, with and adult beverage in my hand and not move for at least 30 minutes. That is very, very hard for me to do. I always need to jump up and “take care of something real quick”, or just start something so it can run in the background while I sit and “relax”. It’s not easy for me to relax.
My mind is racing 100 miles per minute. I constantly have things that I want or need to get done nagging at me. Thank God we can open multiple tabs in our browser windows! I will typically had a thought to order something on amazon, open a new tab, think of something else as I was about to type in amazon.com and end up with 3-4 other tabs open to address the other thoughts popping into my head as well.
What My ADHD Journey Will Look Like
Medication
I will be medicated – yay! This comes as a relief to me because I knew I couldn’t do this alone without medication. I’ve tried for too long and was suffering. We discussed a few options; but for now the decision was to start a daily medication call Wellbutrin. We discussed the use of a common drug used for ADD called Adderall; but my doctor feels this approach will work best for me.
There are certain criteria that need to be taken into consideration when selecting a medication to manage ADHD. In my case, I have a lot of night terrors, so if he were to prescribe Adderall to me, it may make those night terrors worse. It’s important for your doctor to get to know you and ask you specific questions related to your health and medical history to know the best medication approach to take with you.
As always, I like to research what I will be taking before taking something so I spent some time reading up on Wellbutrin. It is primarily used to manage major depression and seasonal affective disorder (SAD). The science behind the medication is how the medication works with the brain’s neurons. If your brain’s neurons can keep norepinephrine and dopamine available to the neurons longer, it helps improve concentration, focus, and other ADHD symptoms.
Medical History
It’s important that your doctor get a thorough medical history about you, prior to prescribing you a medication. With my anxiety, he also didn’t want to make the anxiety ramp up more by being on a stimulant like Adderall. When you have ADHD, you typically have anxiety. The two go hand in hand. When the anxiety level is increased, your cognitive functions decrease.
The way it was explained to me is, if you were being chased by a lion, your brain turns off all unnecessary functions at the time, to tell your body to start running, increase your heart rate and send energy to the areas of your body to allow you to run fast so you can save your life from the lion chasing you. If you have an anxiety disorder, your symptoms may be so severe that they affect your ability to work, concentrate, enjoy life, or get motivated to go about your daily activities.
This happens to me and it makes me very frustrated. My biggest struggle is not about staying on task; but working up to doing a task. Once I am engaged in a project, I tend to be hyper focused on it and will sometimes work straight through until I am at a point where I can safely stop and won’t be confused where I left off.
Do You Have ADHD?
I think many of us live with some level of ADHD or ADD thanks to cell phones, social media, emails and texts that can find their way to us at any hour of the day via notifications. However, you may need to try things that will work for you such as turning those notifications off.
Living during a pandemic will also cause anxiety to ramp up, which can also cause ADHD to become more bothersome. That’s what was happening to me so I was just trying to live with it. But it came to a point where I just couldn’t anymore. The forgetfulness and the brain fog and disconnect were just getting to be too overwhelming.
You can go through online checklists to determine if you have ADHD; but it’s important to see a doctor to be evaluated for it. I used to joke that I had it; but I really think my dad has it and I’m a clone of my father! Little piles everywhere. I need to visually see my items around me. If I have important things to do they need to be front and center.
What’s Next For My ADHD Journey?
It’s my first day of medicine so far and I was able to finish a blog post within one day. In my opinion, that’s huge. My doctor told me that if the medicine is right for me, I’ll notice it within the first 72 hours of taking it that it is NOT right for me. Wellbutrin is also a drug with the least amount of side effects. It will not cause weight gain or weight loss, so that’s also a relief to me. I don’t want to work so hard at my fitness and weight goals, only to come up against a side effect that will make it hard to lose weight.
I’m documenting my journey with ADHD on my Facebook and Instagram pages via stories and reels, so come on over and check out my progress! I hope to also keep a log of it on my blog so I can also have it written out as a diary of my experience to look back on one day.