It’s that time of year again, I start to feel anxiety about my children ending a school year. It is not about them going on to summer vacation; but that they are going moving up into a higher grade. Last year it was harder because my son was leaving one school and starting another. With the end of the school year comes my son’s birthday. This year he is going to be nine….. NINE! How is it possible that I gave birth to my first born child nine years ago already??? I remember the day(s) like it was yesterday. There’s always this underlying anxiety I feel when Spring comes around, the past few years. I wasn’t sure what it was until last year when I realized it. It’s my children moving on.
I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts called Laugh or Go Crazy and Michele, the host was saying how she was feeling that life was going by too fast. She was also mentioning that her oldest boy was getting older and that she was also feeling emotional about it. I thought it was interesting that she helped me identify what I was feeling. So I need to work on embracing the changes, accepting it, and to feel proud for my children. They are learning, growing, blossoming and I have to enjoy every moment of their young lives!
When we were on vacation a few weeks ago the vacation was so different from years past. They are older now, can ride all of the rides that they want, my daughter is a roller coaster junkie as much as my son is, and they walk everywhere! No more strollers. Granted, the times when we did use the strollers was easier because we loaded them up with all of our crap so if the kids got out of them they tipped over; but we always knew where the kids were. Now we have to hold their hands or have our eyes on them constantly. They walked everywhere in Disney but did not complain about it! Even on the late nights when we closed the Magic Kingdom and Aquatica!
I see friends and family having babies and think of how much work it is to have a baby. Those years are a blur to me now. They were very hard times, but joyful, rewarding times. But they were a lot of work. Now with our kids being 7 and 8 it is a different kind of hard work. We are managing a full calendar with activities at school and sports and play dates. When they were babies we were home a lot so they could nap or have their bath and be ready for bed. These days, it is a treat to be at home for a night.
Someone once referred to me as fun-loving. I have been thinking about that a lot lately. I DO love to have fun! I love to make adventures for the kids and my family. I love to make memories. I want them to think back on their childhood or their lives and remember all of the good times we had, like taking walks at night in the dark on Christmas eve, or playing soccer in the driveway on New Year’s Eve. Searching for golf balls in the field at night after walking through the cemetery. Each and every vacation, to Disney and New Hampshire. Trips to the beach to ride bikes, stealing corn from the corn field while riding bikes…. There are so many. Enough that we made a memory jar to add these special memories into so we can enjoy a meal and open these pieces of paper next New Year’s Eve and laugh and re-live the memories of the past year.
I love that the kids are growing up, but I want to keep them little for as long as I can!
